


Artificial personality

by Rottenfawn



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Established Relationship, M/M, Relationship Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23527549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rottenfawn/pseuds/Rottenfawn
Summary: It was like Alastor was convinced that he had to be an optimistic and confident person all the time, as if he was somehow less lovable without it.And it annoyed him to an extent he couldn't explain.
Relationships: Alastor/Husk (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 104





	Artificial personality

Husker saw himself as a very patient guy.  
Sure, now and then, he had issues with his anger, but in general, he was convinced that it needed a lot for him to lose it.  
After all, how would he be able to be in a relationship with Alastor, if he didn't possess a significant amount of patience?  
It was unthinkable.

He was able to endure a lot of the other's weird mannerisms.  
The older man could deal with the uncertainty of what a new day with Alastor would bring.  
There was no clear routine because the brunette was more than impulsive.   
Now and then, he could make out some habits, like the strategic way he put on his clothes in the morning or the way he cleaned his glasses, but there was still a concrete plan that was missing.  
On one day, placing an arm around the younger man and pulling him close to plant a kiss on his cheek was more than welcome, and Alastor seemed to bathe in the attention he got from his partner.  
On another day, Husker had to try several times just to get a quick touch, that left the smaller looking like he had just burned himself.  
While it was frustrating, it was something the veteran could deal with.  
He had his own quirks, and he knew how it felt when someone rejected you because of it.  
Yes, he could ignore all of that.

But there was one thing he couldn't ignore because he knew it was rooted in the lack of trust and in something that could be perceived as fear of being vulnerable towards him.  
Husker was aware of the fact that his partner had once been a successful radio host, that it was something that couldn't fulfill his cravings but got him as close as he could to be satisfied.  
While it always seemed that Alastor simply craved attention and people who looked up to him, the older man was sure that it was a weak attempt to fill the void in his soul.  
After his beloved mother fell ill and threatened to succumb to her sickness, the brunette quit his job, focusing on caring for her full-time.  
She had been a beautiful woman with a big heart and an even bigger smile, and when she met Husker for the first time, she made him feel welcome and told him he was more than allowed to stay.  
He remembered all the evenings she tried to show him how to crotch and how he failed miserably, but she taught him that humor was the best way to cope with mistakes.  
He was still asking himself how it was possible to believe in good when there was so much evil in this world, but he somehow admired her for it.  
After her demise and Husker becoming a permanent aspect of his partner's life, the younger man's craving for fame seemed to seize.  
Instead of talking to a broad audience, he was now continually bothering his partner with literally everything that came into his mind, jumping from topic to topic.  
It was hard to follow him and not to turn away sometimes. Still, he couldn't help but enjoy listening, even when he had nothing of value to contribute to the conversation.  
It was a nice change compared to the silence that surrounded him in the past few years.  
But with the conversations, there was also a major annoyance or rather worry coming up for him.

It was indeed bothering him how the younger man acted like he was always on stage.  
He didn't have a problem with Alastor's exaggerated way of moving or how he always made sure to be presentable before leaving the house, even when they were just taking a walk in the late hours of the evening.  
Those mannerisms were one of the many reasons he had fallen in love with him in the first place.  
But Husker soon realized that his partner was hiding any kind of insecurity behind the persona he was displaying.  
The smile often didn't reach his eyes, the voice too loud and too artificial to display real emotions, especially the excitement and brightness it tried to fake.  
It was like Alastor was convinced that he had to be an optimistic and confident person all the time, as if he was somehow less lovable without it.  
And it annoyed him to an extent he couldn't explain.  
He thought they were finally getting comfortable with each other, so why was this still a thing that was going on between them?

Talking with Alastor about this issue proved to be more than painful.  
Did he expect it to be dramatic?  
Yes, he did.  
But did he expect it to be such a shitshow, such an unnecessary fight for dominance as well?  
Absolutely not.  
So when he pressed the smaller man against the wall, hovering over him and taking a good look at the creepy grin, the lack of fear in his eyes even with the notable difference in strength and height, he felt the familiar feeling of defeat in his bones.  
He didn't know how to talk, losing that ability many years ago, and he was at a loss of words. A bitter laugh escaped him.   
Without his physical strength, he was nothing.  
"This is ridiculous."   
Husker moved back, running his fingers through his black hair that was slowly starting to turn grey.   
He was too old for this.  
The mixture of mischievousness and playfulness on Alastor's face changed into confusion and left the air filled with tension that neither of them cleared.

The last thing he expected to happen was his partner asking for his attention in the evening.  
From the way, the brunette's grin was twitching, and the hazel eyes tried to avoid his own; he knew it was something serious.   
They weren't strangers to the fight over dominance, and it was somewhat familiar for them to part with their minds clouded with anger. Still, in the end, they always found the way back to another.  
It wasn't particularly healthy behavior, but parting ways wasn't possible.  
This time it seemed different, though.  
Husker simply didn't have the emotional strength for another try to make Alastor face his problems.  
He often found it in his responsibility to make sure they would get even again and not just push it away, because he was the older of them.  
He already had experiences in relationships in contrast to his partner, who was new to the whole situation and a few years ago even believed he would never fall victim to what people called love.  
It still seemed to be too much for him now, and he found himself with a bottle of ice-cold whiskey in his room, greedily opening it to pour the liquid down his throat without hesitation.  
Oh, how he craved it now.  
It was a fight that had already been lost many times. Addiction was just so hard to overcome.

He didn't share the silence with his drug of choice for long.  
The knock on his bedroom door was hesitant and almost shy if he didn't know Alastor was the one who knocked.   
He hesitated for a moment until he almost barked out the allowance for his partner to enter.  
It wasn't friendly, but Alastor couldn't expect anything else after what had happened between them.  
The door finally opened after a second and hazel eyes peeked shyly inside the room.  
"Hello, my dear."   
Husker almost snorted.  
The younger man was clearly nervous and uncertain in such a situation. It was almost amusing to him.  
"Hey." He replied, throwing the now empty bottle on the ground, watching how Alastor's grin was twitching.  
He knew it was because of the mess, because of the unwashed clothes covering one chair in the corner and his unmade bed.  
Once again, he asked himself how they managed to build up a relationship that was functioning most of the time.  
They were quite the opposites, craving different things in life and generally having different outlooks.  
While the younger man could almost be described as an optimist, he was a realist with somewhat nihilistic tendencies.  
While Alastor chased after entertainment and pleasure, he didn't chase after anything and just wanted to live in peace.  
He chuckled to himself and shook his head.   
Life was odd, wasn't it?

The following weeks were quite pleasant.  
Against all prejudices, Alastor surprised him and surpassed his expectations.  
It was the first serious conversation they had without the other interrupting or defending himself against the allegations.  
Husker had been able to speak his mind freely, to get everything out of his system, and it felt great.  
With the alcohol in his blood, he was braver and spilled out every ounce of the truth, even when he saw Alastor's grin twitching and his eyes darkening now and then.  
He didn't hear much of his partner about it afterward, almost feeling disappointed. Still, he reminded himself that good things were taking time and that he had to be more trusting.  
The subtle changes weren't noticeable for anyone but Husker.  
While they were slow, he was already satisfied with Alastor taking his complaints seriously and actively trying to work on himself.  
The always present grin was faked a little less, and when the brunette's voice slipped and got louder, a raised brow from the older man was enough for him to notice.  
Now and then, Alastor couldn't contain his persona, no matter how hard he tried, and Husker was as understanding as he could.  
After all, old habits die hard, and he knew that best.


End file.
